


uNIMPRESSIVE RAPPING FANFIC

by LuarRosa, Volcanicsquire



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Disappointment, God Complex, Irony, Megalovania (Toby Fox), Misgendering, Philosophy, Possession, Rap Battles, Screaming, Self-Insert, Slice of Life, Time Shenanigans, Trans Character, Transphobia, i'm very tired, rapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 01:42:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuarRosa/pseuds/LuarRosa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volcanicsquire/pseuds/Volcanicsquire
Summary: (this is probably like the notes thing the part where you get a summary of the story I don’t know how fanfiction works)Oh god I'll need to format this on ao3 later(unless someone else did it for me wink wink)StillBasically this story isDave wants to make a rapping contestBut time is acting all weird and shit like uhhLike those jokes in Scott Pilgrim?And he’s the only one who noticesBut oh no!It was Lord English all along!And he raps too!Also Vriska steals the spotlight at some pointThat’s it





	uNIMPRESSIVE RAPPING FANFIC

**Author's Note:**

  * For [To everyone who ever believed in my ability to not fuck this up](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=To+everyone+who+ever+believed+in+my+ability+to+not+fuck+this+up).

DAVE: okay  
DAVE: this is a rapping contest  
KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T.  
DAVE: trust me on this  
DAVE: youll like it  
JADE: dave you told us this same idea last week  
DAVE: no but  
JADE: and the one before........  
DAVE: no look that was a rap *battle*  
KARKAT: AND THE ONE BEFORE THAT.  
DAVE: contests are different  
DAVE: theyre like  
DAVE: everyone submits a rap  
DAVE: and we vote who wins  
KARKAT: SUGGESTING BASIC FUCKING CIVILITY WON'T STOP IT FROM BEING RAP.  
DAVE: its rap democracy bro  
DAVE: i thought you liked lady democracy  
KARKAT: DAVE PLEASE.  
DAVE: how can you call yourself a leader  
DAVE: if you wont join this election  
KARKAT: DAVE SHUT UP PLEASE!  
DAVE: obama would be disappointed in you karkat  
KARKAT: SHUT UP!  
JADE: and he brings up obama  
JADE: were practically out of options now  
JADE: come on karkat just say yes please  
KARKAT: OKAY FINE.  
KARKAT: I WILL PARTICIPATE YOUR SHITTY SLAM POETRY CONTEST.  
DAVE: thank you so much  
DAVE: what about you jade  
JADE: im busy!!  
DAVE: doing what  
JADE: i have stuff to do that isnt any of your business mr strider!!!!!!  
DAVE: say one  
DAVE: just one  
JADE:  
JADE: i dont know actually  
DAVE: please  
JADE: fine!!  
JADE: everytime you convince us to get on board with one of your ideas  
JADE: it just turns into you and karkat fighting like an old married couple!  
KARKAT: LIKE A WHAT NOW?  
DAVE: then we will rap  
DAVE: like an old married couple  
JADE: i actually want to see that  
JADE: consider me in  
DAVE: cool  
DAVE: ...  
DAVE: so how are we going to convince everyone else  


KANAYA: So Your Reasoning Behind Choosing Us Specifically  
KANAYA: Is Because We Are  
KANAYA: Badass  
DAVE: im inviting everyone  
DAVE: what i mean is that people respect you two enough so theyll have listen to me  
DAVE: oh whats that rosemary is going to this rap contest why didnt you tell me that earlier dave now im invested in this  
KANAYA: Ill Ignore Your Usage Of That Word  
KANAYA: And Tell You I Dont Like The Sound Of Using My Marriage As A Marketing Strategy  
DAVE: its not a marketing strategy  
DAVE: im just  
ROSE: Dave.  
DAVE: hey rose whats up  
DAVE: i was just talking to kankan here  
KANAYA: Dont Use That Word Either  
DAVE: about uh  
DAVE: karkat  
KANAYA: Rapping  
ROSE: You were talking about Karkat rapping?  
DAVE: uh  
ROSE: Is that a past event or the name of an activity?  
KANAYA: We Werent Actually Talking About Karkat  
KANAYA: Though I Admit That The Idea Of Karkat Investing His Time In Slam Poetry Is Quite Amusing  
DAVE: thats good  
DAVE: because he will  
KANAYA: You Convinced Him To Join  
DAVE: yes  
ROSE: We’re in.  
DAVE: wait really  
ROSE: Is that a problem?  
DAVE: not at all  
DAVE: i just didnt expect you to join so easily  
KANAYA: That Was A Completely Perfect Reason To Accept Your Terms Though  
DAVE: you wouldnt understand  
DAVE: its time shenanigans again  


DAVE: i dont know how to explain this  
DAVE: but its like  
DAVE: a microwave  
JUNE: what?  
DAVE: wait john why are you here  
JUNE: uhh  
DAVE: where are rose and kanaya  
JUNE: im pretty sure they havent been here in a while, dave!  
JUNE: not since my coming out party i guess...  
DAVE: your what  
DAVE: how come was i not aware of you being gay  
JUNE: im not trying to be rude, but your irony isnt the best these days.  
DAVE: huh?  
JUNE: you were there!  
JUNE: are you not joking?  
DAVE: no im not  
DAVE: i was just talking to rose and kanaya about my rapping contest  
JUNE: im pretty sure youve told that to all of us months ago buddy.  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: somethings definitely wrong with how time works here  
JUNE: i don’t know, that clock is moving normally to me.  
DAVE: you wouldnt understand  
DAVE: its time she--wait  
DAVE: ive said this before  
DAVE: what the actual fuck  
DAVE: also are you wearing a dress now thats pretty cute  
JUNE: oh um...  
JUNE: so my coming out party wasnt about being a homo sexual...  
JUNE: i mean it was...  
JUNE: but not in the way you think?  
DAVE: what the fuck are you talking about  
JUNE: i’m a girl dave!  
JUNE: a gay girl!  
DAVE: holy shit  
DAVE: thats pretty dope actually  


DAVE: so um  
DAVE: what day did i set up the contest for  
DIRK: A week from now.  
DAVE: oh hey dirk bro  
DAVE: i didnt  
DAVE: notice you  
DAVE: there  
DIRK: Time shenanigans?  
DAVE: yeah  
DIRK: Understandable.  
DAVE: sooo  
DAVE: what were we talking about?  
DIRK: You came here to get some help with setting everything up.  
DIRK: And we talked about your father, I guess.  
DAVE: we did?  
DIRK: Roxy.  
DAVE: oh yeah  
DAVE: cool  
DIRK: Got your rhymes prepared?  
DAVE: oh absolutely  
DAVE: ive got some bars youve never seen bro  
DAVE: were gonna need a whole lot of fire safety equipment  
DAVE: because im going to set the stage on fire  
DIRK: You made that joke already, so I'm assuming you've got nothing planned either.  
DAVE: yep  
DIRK: Cool. Improvisation is kinda our thing, anyway.  
DAVE: so we doing this?  
DIRK: We're really doing it, bro.  


DAVE: hello people of earth c  
DAVE: this a rap you know  
DAVE: im starting some rhymes  
DAVE: im committing some crimes  
DAVE: i forgot i needed a theme  
DAVE: but it doesnt matter  
DAVE: because my words splatter  
DAVE: whatever you call your mind  
DAVE: and in my words youll find  
DAVE: that im the coolest gay around  
DAVE: fuck i meant to say guy  
DAVE: but whatever dude that fits  
DAVE: no matter what  
DAVE: my mixtape youll buy  
DAVE: drops mic  


DIRK: I get it, I swear.  
DIRK: You want fun, it’s only fair.  
DIRK: But you’re exploring my mind.  
DIRK: And I have things you don’t want to find.  
DIRK: But this isn’t right.  
DIRK: You’re taking control of our fight.  
DIRK: No one acts like themselves if you take over their voices.  
DIRK: In fact I assume someone like you would understand what it is to take choices.  


Are you talking to me?  


DIRK: Yes.  


Are you REALLY talking to me?  


DIRK: Did I stutter, by chance?  
DIRK: Or are you afraid to dance?  


I fail to understand the purpose behind challenging me.  
Are you okay? Did you not go to bed?  
Or are you asking me to take your head?  


DIRK: You can’t use that joke.  
DIRK: Your sense of humor is making me choke.  


You think I’m the villain here but I’m far from that part.  
You’re just jealous that in my story I didn’t give you that art.  


DIRK: What could I possibly gain with choosing that path?  
DIRK:   
DIRK: Is that it.  
DIRK: Did you give up.  


Look. I understand you want to live, but I am only a person. I have things to do. I don’t have inspiration for your dialogue.  


We then proceed to have a magnificent rap battle that no one else in the room could understand, except maybe by Terezi, not that she would admit it, of course.  


You can’t just do that.  


Who are you to say that?  


I’m Dirk Strider. 

Yeah exactly. You don’t really matter.  
I don’t even like you. As a character. As a person.  
Why are you of all people talking to me?  


I don’t choose to listen to your voice.  
I just do.  
Do I need to engage in a monologue for you to understand this?  


No, please shut up.  
I don’t need that drama right now.  
I just want to write fluffy rapping.  


Not a single part of what you wrote was fluffy.  


Not even the June Egbert part?  


That was rushed and badly written.  


Oh okay Dirk “Detective Pony” Strider, thanks for the writing  


  


advice.  
OH WAIT WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO  


DIRK: (I am not typing this out but imagine the weirdest and loudest pained scream that Dirk could give at this moment)  


I AM SO SORRY OH FUCK  


TEREZI: WH4T TH3 3V3R LOV1NG FUCK D1D YOU DO??  
TEREZI: WHY 1S SH3 SO B1G??  


DON’T ASK ME LIKE I KNOW  
I WAS JUST-  


VRISKA: Terezi what is going on here?  
TEREZI:  
DIRK:  
ME:  
DIRK: Who the fuck is “me”?  
ME: The narrator, dipshit.  
KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
ME: Oh no.  


most people there immediately notice Dirk and Terezi’s looks at me and take fighting stances, staring at my direction  


ME: This was NOT supposed to be a self-insert fic.  
ME: Uhhhhhhh.  
ME: Is there a magic word I can say to not make you all fight me?  
TEREZI: YOU COULD H4V3 WR1TT3N US TO NOT F1GHT YOU 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3  
ME: Oh yeah.  


they all proceed to go back to normal  
and I say that in the laziest way possible  
and that only works because you can imagine them going back to normal anyway which makes me wonder  
doesn’t that mean that your role creating this narrative is relevant enough for you to control it?  
you could stop reading right now  
you could literally just close the tab  
do it  
close the tab  
this is the end  
it wasn’t a good read anyway  
there’s no loss for you, is there  
just do it  
close the tab  


did you do it  
did you close the tab  
I guess not  
congratulations  
you have your own will, not influenced by my words  
that, in fact, makes you not only more powerful than me, but more powerful than this entire work  
do you like it?  
the idea of being a god?  
yes/no  
I’m joking  
you can’t actually choose  
back to the story  


DAVE: what did you do to my contest  
DAVE: do you have ANY IDEA how long it took me to organize that  
ME: A few minutes, yeah.  
DAVE: are you fucking kidding me  
ME: No, not really.  
ME: Why would I do that?  
DAVE: i dont know you dude  
DAVE: are you saying i should assume random strangers with implied god powers dont have a sense of humor  
DAVE: like if somehow what am I doing here?  


No, seriously.  
What is this?  
What is this text, this story?  
These characters?  
Is there a point to this?  
Was there one, ever, lost to the deep void of my memories?  
That is assuming if what I understand of "me" and "my" even matters, of course.  
Because does it?  
I don't know.  
Maybe past me knew what they wanted to do with this. Maybe they didn't.  
But, well, past me does not exist.  
The past isn't real.  
Time isn't real.  
And even if I did supposedly betray them by not driving this in the right direction, is that truly immoral?  
To betray someone who does not exist?  
Or what if future me has something better to do?  
And I'm here, doing this?  
But again, future me does not exist. So I guess it doesn't matter either.  
I guess that, at this point, my rambling doesn't matter either.  
And if this is somehow a published work, that people can easily access, I don't doubt that I've lost some of you during these.  
Sometimes, reading things is boring and hard.  
I relate to that.  
So I owe you an explanation.  
In actuality, I don't owe you anything, because you're here for a reason that is probably not my fault in the first place.  
Unless, of course, if you want to argue that me convincing you to read this means that it is my fault that you are reading these walls of text.  
But in that case you better sit down, because these walls have a door and a roof and you're stuck inside.  
So I was saying, an explanation.  
Basically, this was really supposed to be a silly fanfic about a rapping contest.  
I thought it’d be a good idea because I like rhyming, and that is still true.  
Though it doesn’t come to me so naturally that I could interpret like 34 characters rapping to each other.  
In fact, I probably couldn’t do so with just one!  
As much as I love Homestuck, I don’t really have a voice with these characters.  
Their personalities don’t play easily with my brain.  
Or at least that’s what I think.  
And this project was really ambitious!  
I think that, in another timeline, where I actually followed the plan, this got to be an amazing fanfic.  
It would have Vriska, it would have Caliborn,  
In fact I don’t like Caliborn that much.  
But he does have a funny way of speaking.  
So seeing him rhyme would be so fucking funny.  
It would certainly be interesting. To make. A series of. Rhymes. In his style. Of speaking. That I mostly got. From another fanfic. Because. I didn’t actually. Pay attention. To his canon. Appearances. Because. He is a man. And I am not. And I like women. So. I don’t. Like. The men.  
Dave’s speaking is really good, too. He rambles about the most random shit ever and it goes on and on and it kind of loses the point of what that whole conversation was about? Like he starts making comparisons to shit that comes out of his dumb chaotic brain as if it was also part of his 13 year old self rapping his ass off, like, just put some obama in there, some shit about a dumb action movie you saw once. You ever watched uh Monsters vs Aliens? That movie is just a blank in my memory because I guess it isn’t really good, despite having watched it multiple times, but I have the very distinct and real memory of that scene with the president trying to talk to that giant alien robot and he just fucking does the shitty crazy frog song on a keyboard and what the actual fuck was that dude like was that movie real did I dream that up as a kid and thought it was real for all this time  
I have a soft spot for Rose’s voice, too. I have never written her well, though you could argue that that’s because I never write anything in the first place. If I am ever to write more, and am somehow recognized for it, I want you to understand that this is my second piece in prose I have ever written. That is if I ignore my 10 year-old self’s attempts at making Pokémon fanfiction, of course. Everyone makes mistakes, I’m sure you relate, in some way. Rose is just that character for me. The one you think about at random points of the night. Not necessarily the one most people think when they think about you, but definitely the one character that really sells you in. Rose, in a superficial level, is not my kind of person. I am not a goth, I am not a writer (or at least I wouldn’t say I am), I don’t even read books, I don’t like cats (though I could be lying to myself here), I don’t like darkness and edgy things, I’m pretty sure I would judge her entire existence if I knew her in real life, even. I mean, I wouldn’t get creeped out by her or anything, but she would just say something such as “Fnlth gohluyng j’rg hothaht!” and I would respond with “Yeah, if you say so.” After some time, though, I stopped with Homestuck a bit. I didn’t necessarily stop liking it or anything, I just didn’t have as much incentive to think about it, probably because of the community or something? I don’t really care about that shit. But it’s not like there isn’t more content being released (as I write this specific part of this text, which by the way, is being written since June 2019, it is the 4th of September of that same year, also known as the release date for the first volumes of Pesterquest), I guess I just began focusing on other things. I did play a bit more of Friendsim, and I did read ONE (1) FANFICTION because it had pictures on it, making it easier for my dumb brain to pay attention and not give up on it completely.  
The problem with that, though, is that it was a fanfic about Dirk and Caliborn? And as I said, I’m a girl. That likes girls. And I kind of don’t like boys. To the boys in the audience, that doesn’t mean I hate you. I mean it kind of does. But not really. The thing is, though, I’d rather read about girls. Loving girls. And not, like. Boys. Loving boys. Because that’s. Not what I like. And also. As I’ve mentioned before. Caliborn. Is kind of a dick. And I don’t like him. And Dirk Strider. Is also an amazing character, so deep and yet so confusing at the same time, he is probably the best Homestuck has to offer, and I am so glad I could read more of him through the lenses of another Dirk fan, like me. Dirk is exactly the kind of person I think we all should strive to be. He is strong, fierce, an amazing philosopher and writer. I can’t stress enough how good his narration is. Have you read the Homestuck Epilogues? That’s a great example of his genius, honestly.

you hear a faint sound  
it’s a song  
you try to make it out, remember what that song is  
[it's this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1p0bLkNGa0&feature=youtu.be)  


VRISKA: 8H MY GOD SH8T THE F8CK 8P!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: JEGUS!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: I’M G8ING TO SHOVE TH8T FUCK8NG MON8LOGUE UP YOUR 8SS!!!!!!!!  
DIRK: How much of that did you hear?  
VRISKA: 8ll of it.  
VRISKA: You are one of the worst writers I’ve ever heard of.  
DIRK: Bold words of someone whose appearances are mostly angst.  
VRISKA: At least the 8ngst 8itches do something with my character!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: Where’s that spotlight you fucking promised?  
DAVE: arent you taking it  
DAVE: like  
DAVE: right now  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: That’s 8ullshit.  
DIRK: No matter what, I am always right.  
VRISKA: I am literally going to shut you up for good if you open your mouth again.  
CALIBORN: WELL. WELL. WELL.  
CALIBORN: WAIT. WHAT COLOR. IS MY TEXT. AGAIN.  
CALIBORN: EDITOR. WOULD YOU PLEASE. EDIT THIS. LATER.  
CALIBORN: I'M SURE. THAT. THIS CURRENT WAY. OF WRITING. DOESN'T INCLUDE. COLOR HEXES. SO. IF YOU DON'T CHANGE THIS. AFTERWARDS. THERE WILL BE. CONSEQUENCES.  
CALIBORN: IT SEEMS. THAT. YOU HAVE DONE. EXACTLY THAT. I WILL NOW. CONTINUE.  
DIRK: Caliborn!?  
VRISKA: What is that 8itch doing here?  
CALIBORN: LADIES. AND GENTLEMEN. I AM HERE. TO FULFILL. A ROLE. OF BRINGING THE END. OF YOUR UNIVERSE.  
CALIBORN: FOR I AM. THE DUDE. THE GUY. THE MAN. WHO IS GOING. TO WRECK. YOUR SHIT.  
CALIBORN: AND NOT. BE BEATEN UP. BY A TEENAGER. IN THE PROCESS.  
ROSE: I will have such a headache after this.  
CALIBORN: DO NOT WORRY. MY GOTH BITCH. FOR THERE WILL BE. NO. AFTER. THIS.  
DAVE: you saying its just over now  
CALIBORN: YES. IT IS. GAME OVER. THE GAME. IS OVER. THE GAME. THAT YOU WERE PLAYING. IS OVER. AND YOU DON'T HAVE. MONEY. FOR MORE TICKETS.  
DAVE: arcade games arent paid with tickets  
CALIBORN: THE GAME. IS FUCKING OVER. BE AFRAID. ARE YOU NOT AFRAID.  
VRISKA: Of?  
CALIBORN: ENDING. YOU KNOW. AS A STORY DOES. YOU WILL ALL. CEASE. DISAPPEAR. VANISH. THE BOOK. WILL BE CLOSED.  
DIRK: This isn't a book.  
CALIBORN: IT. COULD BE. A BOOK. LIKE YOU. COULD BE A BITCH. WHICH. YOU ARE CLOSE. TO BEING. IF YOU KEEP. THIS UP.  
CALIBORN: I CAN'T STRESS. ENOUGH. HOW MUCH. YOU ALL SUCK.  
CALIBORN: IT IS. SUCH A PAIN. TO COME HERE.  
CALIBORN: LIKE. WHAT. THE FUCK.  
CALIBORN: I WISH. I COULD. AVOID YOU.  
CALIBORN: YOU ALL SUCK.  
CALIBORN: SO HARD. THAT I DON'T KNOW. HOW ANYONE. COULD BE READING. THIS STORY.  
DAVE: okay okay shut up  
CALIBORN: YOU HAVE NO CLASS. NO GLORY.  
CALIBORN: IT'S A SAD. SIGHT.  
CALIBORN: WITH. NO EXCEPTIONS.  
CALIBORN: NOT EVEN. THE HEROES. OF LIGHT.  
CALIBORN: ARE. SAVED. FROM THIS RULE.  
CALIBORN: I MEAN. WHAT PART OF THIS. IS GOOD.   
CALIBORN: YOU DON'T HAVE. THE COUPLES.  
CALIBORN: YOU. DON'T HAVE. THE FOOD.  
CALIBORN: WHERE. IS THE MEAT. AND THE CANDY.  
CALIBORN: HOW. IS THIS. A HEALTHY MEAL.  
CALIBORN: IT IS. IN FACT. NOT HEALTHY. AT ALL.  
CALIBORN: SOMETHING. NOT ONE OF YOU FOOLS. CAN HEAL.  
KANAYA: What Meal  
KANAYA: I Wont Say I Am An Expert In Writing  
KANAYA: But Surely You Dont Mean It Can Be Compared To Nutrition  
ROSE: Meat and candy might be good for a story.  
ROSE: But that doesn't mean every written thing must have it.  
KANAYA: Does A Pamphlet Need Meat  
KANAYA: Does It Need Candy  
KANAYA: Would You Tell A Marketing Team That Their Projects Dont Have Enough Fighting Or Shipping  
CALIBORN: THAT IS. THE STUPIDEST. QUESTION. I HAVE EVER. HEARD.  
CALIBORN: OF COURSE. I WOULD. DO THAT.  
CALIBORN: THAT MARKETING TEAM. BETTER BE. PUTTING BITCHES. HOLDING HANDS. ON THEIR PAMPHLETS.  
DAVE: someone please shut that dude up  
JUNE: HOME STUCK!!!!!!!!  
CALIBORN: AND THERE. IT GOES. THE BOY. WHO BEAT ME UP. THAT ONE TIME. SAYS THE NAME. OF THE STORY.  
JUNE: im not a boy!  
CALIBORN: IT IS. WELL KNOWN. THAT WHEN YOU SAY. THE NAME OF THE MOVIE. THE CREDITS ROLL. AND YOU HAVE. CURSED. THIS ENTIRE WORK. BY SAYING. ITS NAME. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE ENDED. THIS FUCKING STORY.  
JUNE: of home stuck!  


JUNE BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CALIBORN  
AGAIN  
IT WAS SUPER COOL  
THE END  


CREDITS  
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CREDITS SESSION  
NO IT IS NOT PART OF THE JOKE  
THIS FIC HAS ENDED  
THANK YOU  
UH HOW DO YOU MAKE CREDITS  
I’LL JUST ASK THE BETA READER  
HEY DUDE  
HOW DO YOU MAKE THOSE  
THIS IS PROBABLY NOT GOING IN THE FINAL CUT  
WE’LL JUST PUT OUR AO3 NAMES  
AND SAY SOMETHING FUNNY  
LIKE “HAHAHA I’M GAY”  
ISN’T THAT FUNNY  
it just hits different  
it will subvert expectations of what credits should look like  
itll be really deep and Woke and shit  
i fuckin guess  
what should i know  
i am but a simple beta reader  
or editor or whatever title youve decided to knight me with using your magic kicko rainbow monster pen  
my influence over the narrative pales in contrast  
like my influence sees the narrative  
and it goes all 0_0  
the blood drains from its cute wittwe face  
like momma narrative came up to this fella and said  
"honey can you get something from the basement even if its like two in the morning and its dark as shit and you're seven"   
and shes right you ARE seven so of course the christmas ghost of daddy freud waltz up to you and whispers sweet dirty insight into your oral fixation and blossoming oedipal complex  
so youre like  
sure hot mom i mean yeah ill totally fulfill your victorian era family values of child entitlement, indoctrination and subsequent enslavement  
but then you walk down into that basement  
and the dark manifests itself around you  
ensnaring you in its adventurous tendrils  
this X-rated cuddle sessions all up and teaching you the true meaning of non-euclidean horror  
of course youre tripping balls on kiddie whimzy and theres nothing there but you bolt the hell outta there in your footsie pyjamas anyway because fuck   
and i repeat   
fuck that noise  
tldr its up to you bro  
what will you do  
advance or abscond?  


**Author's Note:**

> ok so i guess i'll do this part so the whole credits section can look extra stupid:
> 
> so LuarRosa is the Brain behind this fic and you can find them @Dhonerus64 on twitter. please give their writing some love! and if you're wondering who the brawn is it's me, Volcanicsquire, and you can find me @v_sh4rp on twitter. "hahaha, im gay"


End file.
